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Chelsea Peretti

pagingme:

my dog likes think she’s really small and can share a chair 

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my brother left because there was no room on the chair

(Source: tree-dom)

Straight White Boy Problem #476

straightwhiteboyproblems:

when u are hanging with ur bro and u are texting ur crush but ur crush isn’t replying to u and u tell ur bro “hey dude text christina and see if she replies to you” and ur bro gets a new text message from christina in 2 minutes and starts textin rapid fire meanwhile u are sortin out some heavy feels in the background. u turn on the tv. maybe watching a little football will ease the pain….

heteroh:

when your parents threaten to take your allowance away

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