i really wanna kiss you and be cute with you and fall asleep in your arms and go on stupid dates but i also sort of want to light you on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk
drarryjohnlockdestinyaremyships:
I dropped a tater tot down my shirt and laughed for five minutes because I looked down my bra and whispered “….. titty tots”
I SWEAR TO GOD IF THIS STARTS GETTING NOTES AGAIN
HAHHAHAH OH SHIT THAT’S HILARIOUS
WHY
- store guy: /extensively stares at boobs
- me: yes, hello, i'm here because my mobile's not working. also if you could please stop looking at my breasts?
- store guy: oh my god i wasn't looking at your breasts! - i mean, that, too, but... /slowly unbuttons shirt
- me: ... why are you taking your shirt off now
- store guy: /dramatically opens shirt to reveal iron man tee
- me: /looks down at her captain america tee
- store guy: /happy seal-clapping
- me: oh my god we match
- store guy: if we can't repair your phone, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it!
